We're expecting a baby! For a long time I was afraid of the idea of getting pregnant while living in France. Having already had moved back to Finland would have offered me a system I'm already more or less familiar with, the support of my family and friends better, and a language I can fully understand. Here we hardly have our own network of people who could help with the pregnancy or the becoming baby. Well, of course France is still a modern Western country that surely knows how to support an expecting family and we trust the system. But no doubt, it is still quite different. But all in all, now that we know the baby is coming, the timing seems quite good and we're of course very excited. We've got a huge blessing from God!
About pregnancy in general
I had a hunch about being pregnant already before the pregnancy test, and within the following weeks some common pregnancy symptoms reminded me of the little one every day. Sometimes it has been difficult to say what symptoms are caused by the pregnancy and what could be some other infection or problem that should be treated separately. It is quite safe to say that I had morning sickness most probably just due to the hormonal changes but what about my nose getting suddenly more filled with mucus and that leading to a mild head-ache and even ears getting irritated..? Suddenly my own body is acting differently and understanding its signals and reacting to those is getting more difficult. Before the pregnancy I would have never thought of eating something right away when feeling nauseous. But when having the morning sickness, grabbing something small to eat usually helped.
Even though pregnancy probably always causes some uncomfortableness, I know I have been lucky to have so little problems. Nothing bigger has bothered my usual life, except that once during the first trimester we were afraid of having a miscarriage. Luckily that ended up to be a false alarm and everything went back to normal with a week of sick leave. However, around the midway of my 9 months waiting it already started making me tired of being pregnant. Despite the fact that we're getting a baby of our own, pregnancy is not the most pleasurable time of my life. Some of the few moments when I have actually enjoyed this, is when we have gone to the ultrasounds. Seeing the baby grow and move around - especially when I still couldn't feel a thing - always brought a smile to our faces. Also feeling the kicks clearly for the first times was such a great experience I had waited for. Now I am getting close to the end of the second trimester and the movements can be felt and even seen daily.
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| Now is a good time to start buying baby clothes. I am so excited, they are just so cute! |
About pregnancy in France in the eyes of a foreigner
Like it wouldn't be enough of a challenge just to be pregnant for the first time when everything is new, but I (we) have the extra challenge of getting through this as foreigners in the country we live in. When the home pregnancy test showed 'positive', I was happy but also got my head full of questions. What do I do now? Where do I inform this? Who is going to follow my pregnancy and where? What are the first things to do? What if I don't get care in English and I cannot understand the French they speak? Or what if I don't understand everything even in English? My vocabulary surely is lacking what it comes to medical terminology.
Luckily my medicin traitant (my own doctor) was a big help in this. Once again I felt so lucky and relieved I had found her. She explained how the French system during pregnancy works in general, what things I have to take care of at first, what are usual tests during pregnancy in France etc. What I needed to do first - in addition to the laboratory test to confirm the pregnancy and check all kind of values in my blood - was to get an insurance. I haven't had a carte mutuelle (an additional insurance card to cover expenses after the usual health insurance that covers around 30-70% dependent on where I go) but now was a time to get one. That was a struggle of its own to google in French what would be a good insurance for me that covers expenses I will probably have but that is not too expensive per month. And then discussing things on the phone calls - of course mostly in French. And then some delay when the insurance guy forgot to send me correct stuff... But we managed to get me one. H is such a big help especially because he speaks better French than I do.
Another thing that has to be taken care of very early in pregnancy in France, is to book a hospital where you want to give birth. Many hospitals here emphasize that you must contact them within the first one or two months of your pregnancy. That was quite surprising for me. Luckily my doctor gave recommendations for two hospitals and we messaged the one that was closer to our home. Basically the pregnancy here is followed by a mid-wife or a gynecologist for the first 5-6 months and after that the monthly checks are done in the chosen hospital. My doctor recommended also a mid-wife for me and she promised to check whether that mid-wife speaks English. Since I didn't get any message from my doctor, I went to the first mid-wife visit trusting that we have a common language. I was wrong. She spoke only very very little English and could only translate some easy things that I could understand in French, too. Being pregnant for the first time and a bit nervous to experience everything, I was so worried I also have to have my monthly checks without being sure what I am told to. If ever, then it's during the pregnancy when I would like to know what is happening. However, this mid-wife guided me for my first ultrasound scan to a different place where I had a younger and lovely mid-wife who also spoke good English. So, I booked all of my first check-ups to be with her. At the hospital I haven't had as good luck. I have had two appointments there and both of the times had to mostly deal with people who don't speak much of English. Also all the material they gave us from the hospital was in French and it is quite tiring to go through them trying to find some useful information.
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| Should I read all of this through in French to find out if they include something useful for us..? |
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| The hospital offered us our first feeding bottle. |
In addition to the monthly check-ups with a mid-wife or in the hospital, I go for blood tests every month. There is this one disease called 'toxoplasmosis' that I had never heard of before. It's a disease that can infect people via soil or the excrement of cats and even though it is not dangerous to normal people, it can cause harm for the unborn baby. It is rather common here in France (and I think anywhere in the Southern Europe) so pregnant women are checked in their first blood test whether they already have immunity for it. Being a Finn and quite hygienic, I had never had it, so now they check me for it once a month. Therefore I am also advised to wash all the vegetables and fruits really well and avoid eating fresh salad in the restaurants. And I should not pet cats a lot. What a fate I had meeting the most human-friendly cat I have ever seen just a bit after I was given these advise! The cat threw herself in front of me and begged for scratching. I could only swallow my tears... Luckily I have found a few good sides about being pregnant in France, as well. The photo below is my biggest help in every-day life.
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| Pregnancy gives some extra restrictions to my life but it also offers some good sides. I can use the priority line in the supermarket when the other lines to the cashier are very long. (Even though the first time I dared to use it, the cashier lady didn't notice my growing belly through the winter jacket and pointed out to me that it is for priority persons only...) |
Of course I also have to take care of some bureaucracy etc. things that are not always the easiest things to handle living in France. Registering myself as a pregnant woman in the systems and applying for getting maternity leave payment (which lasts only for 16 weeks here!) and so on. I just hope I have not missed anything vital because I have heard that if you are late with some announcing or applications, it may took for ages to get the benefits afterwards.
About pregnancy during covid-19
There are both good and bad sides about being pregnant now that there's a world-wide pandemic. Having my belly growing, running and other harder exercise are getting more and more uncomfortable. That's why I don't really miss my zumba lessons that have been cancelled since last October. Even if they could open again, I wouldn't be joining them before the baby is here. But I hope that next summer I will have a chance to go and dance there again. The same way I wouldn't have too much energy to go around for some culture or meeting people if everything was open here now. So if I were to be pregnant in France, now is the perfect time for it when I cannot enjoy the good sides Paris offers. (Of course sometimes we still would like to go out and have a dinner in a restaurant or go see a movie or theatre or something. But that we have to just wait for.)
Mentioning a couple of negative sides about pregnancy during corona. One of the exercise forms I would like to do now is swimming. H also used to go swim twice a week before the lockdowns, so we are both very sad that the swimming halls have been closed for a long time now, too. All we can do is to go for walks (or H for runs) and exercise at home. Due to the covid restrictions it has also been more challenging to book appointments for blood tests or doctors because they have less available times online. Nevertheless, by checking every few days, I have been able to book good times to check for toxoplasmosis and other needed tests for now. But maybe the most bothering cause of covid-19 for me has been the fact that H cannot join me for the hospital visits. In October for the first visit, he could come with me to do the administrative procedures and talk with the secretary, even though the actual discussion with the mid-wife was denied from the spouses. During the 6th month appointment in January the guard would have let him only sit right next to the front door and not join me for any part of the visit. So I had to survive all alone which made me feel both sad and insecure about understanding French well enough. But I made it. With some repetition and little confusion at times. Luckily many people understand some English even if they don't speak it.
